A Little Push- Scene 4
We come back up a little bit later; the setting back to the same office layout from Scene 2. Andy is back on the headset dealing with another customer. By the looks of it, they're at the tail-end of the call. As he's talking, C-Andy is seated quietly next to him waiting for the work day to end.
ANDY WARREN
You should be able to get a Wi-Fi connection right about now.
CUSTOMER #2
(over the speakers, via phone)
Yep, it works. Thank you so much for your help.
ANDY WARREN
No problem. Is there anything else we can help you with, Mr. Hickman?
CUSTOMER #2
(over the speakers)
Nope, that's about it.
ANDY WARREN
Thank you for using Tri-State Cable both now and in the future. I hope you have a good day.
CUSTOMER #2
(over the speakers)
You too. Bye.
ANDY WARREN
Bye.
(takes off his headset, lets out a pleased sigh)
And that is that. Time to head home, relax and promptly kiss
your douche ass goodbye too!
He chuckles boastfully for a few seconds, hopping off his office chair and heading off stage left. After five steps though, he stops; his bubble of cockiness popped by the silence and non-descript body language C-Andy projects.
ANDY WARREN
(suspicious, to Conscience-Andy)
You've been silent since lunch. Not that I'm complaining though- if Hollywood’s taught me anything, it’s that silence usually means scheming.
CONSCIENCE-ANDY
(calming and coy, to Andy)
I’m not scheming, dude. Just doing some afternoon pondering. A little people watching.
ANDY WARREN
Pondering? Right...
(chuckles, placing the headset next to the computer)
Normally, that would annoy me to all hell. But you'll be gone in a little over six hours.
(stands up, grinning)
So, screw it!
As he starts to walk away from his desk and heads over stage right, he's stopped by the emergence of two of his friends: MARTIN and AARON. Martin is a slick back, Gordon Gekko wannabe dressed in a pair of slacks and a button up shirt with a tie. Aaron is more of a working-class cable repairman in a blue short sleeve Polo and tan slacks.
MARTIN
Hey hey!
ANDY WARREN
Martin!
CONSCIENCE-ANDY
(under his breath, moving behind Andy)
Ah, crap. This twat!
MARTIN
(gives Andy a bear hug)
How's it going, Back Handy?
ANDY WARREN
It's--It's going good, man! Just about to clock out.
CONSCIENCE-ANDY
(over their conversation)
You'd figure with the amount of grease in his hair, it'd spark more brain cells.
AARON
Any big plans this weekend?
ANDY WARREN
Well, I--
MARTIN
(jumps in, leans to Aaron)
Of course he doesn't have any plans, Aaron. Look at that face. That is a perfect "Fucked with Overtime" face if ever I've seen one.
AARON
(looks it a couple of beats; revelatory)
Oh yeah, it does.
CONSCIENCE-ANDY
If only I was visible.
MARTIN
(to Andy who is steadily becoming more and more nervous)
How'd you get roped in this time, huh?
CONSCIENCE-ANDY
Not for too long. But just enough to pound your cocky ass to the ground.
MARTIN
(speaking at almost the same pace as C-Andy, moving closer to Andy)
Was it a guilt trip? Did Bossman promise you a promotion that'll never come if you sacrifice yet another weekend working?
CONSCIENCE-ANDY
(hands in prayer)
Whatever deity’s watching right now- please give me or Andy the power to knock this cocky twat out cold!
ANDY WARREN
Actually, it was a staffing thing. He--
MARTIN
(inches from Andy's face; dismissive)
On second thought, it was probably not that interesting. We’re heading over to Harriet’s for a couple beers, if you’re interested.
ANDY WARREN
(encouraged)
Sounds awesome. I’ve had one of those days where a good Guinness sounds pretty awesome.
MARTIN
(interrupting, checking his watch before looking back at him with faux sincerity)
Actually, sorry, I gotta ix-nay on the drinks. I almost forgot- I got a plane to catch in the morning. I’m heading down to Monaco for a week of sun and sex.
Martin then begins to walk out in the same direction of the stage that he came in with. As he passes by Aaron, who has spent most of this one-sided conversation looking on with a playfully naive look on his face, Martin pats him on the shoulder.
MARTIN
Let's go, dude!
Aaron nods and walks out behind him, waving at Andy before walking completely out of sight. A few beats later, C-Andy takes a couple of steps stopping alongside Andy as he looks out at the two of them.
CONSCIENCE-ANDY
Tell me again why you're friends with that jackass.
ANDY WARREN
He was a Frat Brother. Yes, I know he's a jerk. But loyalty's loyalty.
CONSCIENCE-ANDY
For the record, I was never a huge fan of you joining a Frat. Bunch of neanderthals chugging Jack Daniels like Aquafina.
ANDY WARREN
It wasn't all bad, man. Met some nice people there, dated some beautiful girls. It was where I met Vanessa.
CONSCIENCE-ANDY
I thought that was in Ms. Cash’s Foreign Affairs class.
ANDY WARREN
(suddenly remembers)
Oh yeah.
(pause, then the bright spot)
There’s also the handy connections I got, which include this job.
CONSCIENCE-ANDY
A soul sucking grind of monotony and jerky customers?
ANDY WARREN
(smirk)
That all you have left? Stupid, snippy retorts?
(chuckling as he passes by C-Andy)
It’s almost the end of the day, and I’m nowhere close to siding with you. Just throw in the towel now. Save yourself the embarassment.
CONSCIENCE-ANDY
(a couple of steps behind Andy; sure of himself)
I wouldn’t get too cocky, A-Bomb! I still have one trick up my sleeve.
ANDY WARREN
(sarcastically; now four steps ahead of C-Andy)
Yeah. I bet it’s a good one...
A couple of beats later, the lights go down just as they head off stage right.
The stage remains dark for a handful of seconds; only the sound of footsteps are heard and the shadows of two people (Andy and C-Andy) seen walking back out from SR.
ANDY WARREN
Where the hell are we?
CONSCIENCE-ANDY
It's a secret.
ANDY WARREN
This is the part where you kill me, isn’t it? I knew it. I knew you had that murderer vibe the moment I saw you. Should’ve snagged the letter opener from the desk...
CONSCIENCE-ANDY
I'm not going to kill you, you daft idiot!
ANDY WARREN
Then, tell me where the hell you’re taking me.
CONSCIENCE-ANDY
It's a surprise.
ANDY WARREN
(annoyed grunt)
I hate surprises.
CONSCIENCE-ANDY
I know. Why do you think I did it?
A split second later, the lights come up at about 50% power. Just enough to give the stage an eerie, almost dreamlike vibe. A little trickle of smoke comes in to add to the eeriness as the two of them journey through it.
CONSCIENCE-ANDY
Welcome to the time stream. Or a snapshot of it.
ANDY WARREN
(stopping; at a loss for words)
Holy Lewis Carrol, Batman!
CONSCIENCE-ANDY
(standing next to Andy)
Thank you. It’s usually not so three-dimensional in scope. But I thought the setting could use a little bit of theatricality.
ANDY WARREN
This is good. Now, I can show you how awesome my life is going down the—
As he's about to finish his statement, the lights come back up the remaining percentage to reveal the setting: his desk at Tri-State Cable complete with the same steady chorus of keyboard clacking in the background. The lone difference is we see another person sitting in Andy’s chair and typing on his computer. Andy meanwhile cranes his head in surprise over the setting.
ANDY WARREN
(Cont.; confused)
The office. We’re—we’re at the office.
(solving it himself)
This must be another subordinate working at my station. In time, you’ll see me come in to give some warm words of encouragement that I never got.
CONSCIENCE-ANDY
Hmmm...I wouldn’t be so locked in to that theory if I were you.
ANDY WARREN
Why’s that?
Suddenly, you can hear indiscriminate muttering coming from the mystery person. It sounds like a little bit like another service call; their voice holding the same rhythm of speech as Andy does.
ANDY WARREN
(walking over to the cubicle)
That...That’s weird. The dude sounds a little bit like me.
CONSCIENCE-ANDY
(pulls him back after a couple of steps)
I would not do that if I were you!
ANDY WARREN
Why not? It’s just a vision of my future. There’s no danger that whoever this person is is going to see me.
CONSCIENCE-ANDY
True. But there's something deeper than that. Something that could be a little bit jarring.
ANDY WARREN
Jarring? I'm trying to uncover a government conspiracy here. I just want to find out who the person in that cubicle is.
The chattering in the hidden cubicle area stops, followed a few beats later by Bossman's arrival from stage right. He is dressed in the same type of high fashion business attire that he had on before. Though this time, he has appeared to have aged the normal amount on his face with his hair now entirely gray.
ANDY WARREN
(laughing)
Fuck a duck, Bossman looks like crap!
CONSCIENCE-ANDY
You'd look like shit after 10 years in the job.
ANDY WARREN
(mid-laugh)
10 years?! Wow...!
(stops laughing with a sudden realization)
Oh. Wow.
(to C-Andy incredulously)
Hold on, does that mean...?
BOSSMAN
(looking down from the top of the hidden cubicle; smiling)
Good morrow, Andrew my lad! How is the day treating you?
OTHER ANDY
(peaking up to look at Bossman)
I'm doing perfectly fine, Mr. B, sir.
ANDY WARREN
I still work here 10 years in the future?
(pause; grinning)
Awesome! Maybe I got that bump into management after all.
CONSCIENCE-ANDY
Keep quiet and listen...
BOSSMAN
Listen, we just struck a deal with Disney+ to offer their service exclusively to our Basic Subscription package. I don’t need to tell you how much money this would bring. Especially given our rather perilous previous quarter of earnings.
ANDY WARREN
(breaks from C-Andy's grip, walking back toward the cubicle to listen intently)
He must want me to run point on the account. I never really thought of myself as an account person. But definitely sounds pretty awesome.
BOSSMAN
It also means that everyone in the Call Center is going to have to work extra hours.
ANDY WARREN
(dumbfounded, taking a few steps back as Bossman talks with Other Andy)
Wait, why the hell would he be asking a manager need to work overtime at the Center?
CONSCIENCE-ANDY
I'm telling you, man. Just pull out now, and let me explain-
ANDY WARREN
(interrupting, shaking his head)
Fuck explanations! I'm going in now!
CONSCIENCE-ANDY
(screaming at him as he approaches the cubicle)
Dude, don't!
BOSSMAN
(smiling, patting the top edge of the cubicle)
Thanks. I knew I could count on you. A steady, solid veteran on the phones to help us through.
At this point, the vivid realization of the moment finally hits him. Andy tries to keep in the heartbreak and utter disappointment of the moment as C-Andy walks up alongside him, guiding him back upstage as the keyboard clacking chorus continues once again.
CONSCIENCE-ANDY
(places arm over Andy's shoulder; sympathetically)
Bossman never really considered you management material. First, ‘cause of your age and then...’cause you were just too valuable to risk losing. But you never caught on. You just kept working hard and forgetting the living part. The writing was the first to go. Then the creativity, the sense of wonder in life, and then- Vanessa.
ANDY WARREN
(stunned)
Fuck...
(grasping for hope)
Tell me she at least found someone really special to be with.
CONSCIENCE-ANDY
(nods)
Not sure who exactly, but...she does.
ANDY WARREN
Can I at least see what I look like?
CONSCIENCE-ANDY
(shrugs, with a grin)
Only fair, given the kind of shit I just threw at you.
(watches as Andy walks up the last couple of feet)
I'm not sure you're gonna like what you see though.
ANDY WARREN
(turns around toward C-Andy, talking to him as he's walking)
I haven't liked most of what I saw up till now. What do I have to lose?
He leans his head down to look inside the hidden cubicle. Three seconds later, we see Andy pops his head back out.
ANDY WARREN
(talking to himself with surprise)
I looked so beige. It was like I just...blended into the cubicle wall.
CONSCIENCE-ANDY
(nods)
I know.
ANDY WARREN
(stops a foot in front of C-Andy)
How the hell does a human being get that beige?
CONSCIENCE-ANDY
You finally understand what I've been trying to tell you all bloody day? About obtaining balance in your life, having something you love to guide you?
ANDY WARREN
To be honest...
(pause, sigh)
I just wanna get the fuck home. Maybe get some Jack in the Box along the way.
Fade to black as the two of them walk out and the keyboard chorus ends.