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A Little Push- Scene 5

Fade back up to the same apartment setting that we had before. The lights are focused primarily on the left side of the stage where his main living area resides. Andy is the first to step inside, plopping the bag of fast food atop the coffee table. He then walks behind one of the chairs and sits down as C-Andy walks inside.

ANDY WARREN

(opens the bag, pulls the burger out)

Nothing like a semi-greasy hamburger to calm people down.

CONSCIENCE-ANDY

I thought fast food made you humans more depressed.

ANDY WARREN

(bites into it; mouth full)

Only if you eat it every day.

CONSCIENCE-ANDY

Don't you eat it every day?

ANDY WARREN

(swallows it)

I don't eat it every day. It's more like 5 or 6 days.

CONSCIENCE-ANDY

(chuckles)

Right, right.

(sits down on the other chair next to Andy)

So- Have I swayed you one way or the other?

ANDY WARREN

Not really, no. I still think having a good steady life will be valuable for me.

CONSCIENCE-ANDY

(frustrated, leaning his head up to the ceiling)

Ah, god dammit! After all the shit I did, you--

ANDY WARREN

(interrupts, emphasizing the first word in such a way as to calm C-Andy down)

But you’re right. I can’t be totally obsessed with getting some artificial title that inevitably doesn’t mean anything. There has to be some type of inner passion to help balance things out.

CONSCIENCE-ANDY

So, it's a push?

ANDY WARREN

Yep.

CONSCIENCE-ANDY

All the effort and everything I said, and it's a push?

ANDY WARREN

(nods as he takes another bigger bite of the burger)

Mmm-hmm.

CONSCIENCE-ANDY

(pause; accepting, leans back in the chair)

Beats a wingtip up the ass, I guess!

Andy puts down the burger and, as he's chewing, he pulls out his cell phone and starts dialing. He finishes up a couple of seconds later, timing the point of bringing the phone to his ear with the act of swallowing.

CONSCIENCE-ANDY

(curious, leaning forward slightly)

Who are you calling?

ANDY WARREN

Hey Boss, it's Andy...Andrew...I'm doing fine, sir. Thank you for asking...It's about the shift tomorrow...I was walking home from work, and I got a call from my sister. She's getting married next week...

CONSCIENCE-ANDY

Bold arsed lie. Liking it so far!

ANDY WARREN

(Cont.)

Thank you, sir. I completely forgot that I’m flying out tomorrow to join up with family and the fiancé’s family...I feel bad for doing this to you. I really wanted to come in and help you guys out. But it's family. I can't go against my family...

CONSCIENCE-ANDY

(nods approvingly)

Nice touch.

ANDY WARREN

(Cont.)

Thank you for understanding...You too, sir. See you Monday...Bye.

He hangs up the phone. He then lays it down on top of his thigh and goes back to eating the 3/4 intact hamburger.

CONSCIENCE-ANDY

Just outta curiosity- what got you to take the plunge?

ANDY WARREN

It was Vanessa. Knowing what our future looked like- didn’t sit well in my heart.

CONSCIENCE-ANDY

What about the script pitch?

ANDY WARREN

(with mouth full)

The deadline isn’t for, like, four more days. I got time.

(swallows it)

I'll decide after the weekend.

CONSCIENCE-ANDY

Ah. Fair enough.

(stands up off the chair)

Well, it's been fun. At least for me. But it's time for us to part ways.

ANDY WARREN

(pause, watching as C-Andy passes by behind him)

What makes you say it?

CONSCIENCE-ANDY

(stops a few feet from Andy's chair)

Well, you've been wishing to get me out of your hair all day. And I figured since you already made your choice that there wasn't much left for us to chat over.

ANDY WARREN

Technically, the day isn't over. There's still about 3-4 hours or so of it left. Let's hang a little longer.

CONSCIENCE-ANDY

Seriously? What about telling Vanessa?

ANDY WARREN

I'll do it a little later. Right now, I’ve got questions I’ve been itching to ask.

CONSCIENCE-ANDY

(walks back toward the chair)

Like what?

ANDY WARREN

What does the hierarchy look like? Are there other people out there observing my life? Do they live on Earth among us, like Dead Like Us? Is there a main headquarters where they gather outside Earth?

(pulls out the box of fries)

Is that what Heaven looks like?

CONSCIENCE-ANDY

(sits down, grabs one from Andy's extended hand)

I can answer the second one- I’m the only one who’s allowed to pop down to Earth.

(chews the fry)

Except for the drunk, inhibitionless Id. But that’s only because it technically resides in your brain.

ANDY WARREN

(frozen halfway from the burger, surprised)

Drunk Id?

(slowly leans back upright)

I have a drunk Id swirling around in my brain?

C-Andy appears ready to reveal the truth to him. But instead, goes for a couple of more fries and eats them one by one.

ANDY WARREN

(Cont.)

Tell me you're shitting me.

(pause when he hears no answer; chuckling, though still a little panicked)

Tell me you're shitting me!

The two of them end things in an indiscriminate, slightly chummy vibe, talking to one another. Fade to black.

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